looking forward, and looking back

The future was drawing closer and closer, and today it hit her hard. 

By future, she meant high school, because at this point in her life, that was the only valid thing she knew was in her future. The rest was a mystery, just waiting to be lived. 

But at this day, both the sun and air were hot and prominent, as if demanding to be noticed and she was once again forced to face the fact that this was her last year at her school, and it was coming to an end. 

For nine years this had been her school. She had attended kindergarten through eighth grade. She would be the first class to go all the way threw, sense the school itself was only nine years old. 

Nine years with the teachers, the students, the building. Nine years, it was more than half her life time. Heck, she had been there longer than most of the teachers had. A nine year adventure, a nine year life, a nine year friendship with the people in her class. 

And now it was coming to an end. 

It truly was a bit like a second home to her, she was after all sentimental.

Sure it was an honor to get into the high school she did, and yes it did promise to not only grow both her art skills and academic knowledge, but also present itself with a new adventure.

But for that adventure to begin this one had to end. 

Like the last page of a book.

She tried to imagine it. waking up ready to go to school on the first day of the first trimester, but instead of walking across the parking lot to where the school was, and valuing its walking distance form her house, knowing what to expect and what faces she will see, She’d be thrown into a whole new world. Its challenge was like a promise, one that she had not memorized all the parts of because she was afraid to expect something, knowing this may be something not even she could imagine.

It was imminent, it was scary, and it was amazing, 

And it was hers.



Later today, from the airport, they would pick up a visitor from Germany for the school exchange program…

 And she was terrified.

She knew she would do something stupid to mess up. Say something wrong, or not say anything and have to suffer threw an awkward silence with a girl who deserved better.

She would share her home, her bedroom her food, she would take her places to shop, or hang out with friends, or where the school was taking everyone. She would keep her busy and occupied and –she could only hope– happy too.

She would laugh at jokes, listen carefully, explain English that the girl wouldn’t understand, watch movies she didn’t like and feign enjoyment. She would give her attention and time that she could be using writing or working, or drawing or playing. She would sacrifice her solitude, of which she valued greatly and try to be a perfect host. She would have to take responsibility for planning and making sure no one is left out, she would have to think for everyone, and hang out with people she would normally only see at school, not after. And she will watch herself closely to make sure she made no mistake. Make sure it all worked out.

It would be exhausting, and she was terrified.


Yet six days later, as the girl slept on her bed for the last time and she slept on the floor, she looked up into the darkness. Instead on seeing her ceiling darkened with lack of light, she saw the week she had just lived threw.

It was the last night, tomorrow they would go.

And she was terrified.

With a sinking feeling she began to feel the weight of either the realization that she enjoyed her week immensely, or from the heavy fatigue, or maybe both.

She closed her eyes and tried to sleep, she had put it off long enough.

Yes she was tired,

But she also did not want this last day to end. 

once upon a time in a world that is not yet our own…